Women and Self-Care: Overcoming the Stigma
It is not always easy to prioritise oneself, especially when others depend on you. Women who are active in their communities, as well as mothers, daughters, wives, and girlfriends, often face the added societal bias of being expected to take on caregiver roles or be available to offer help even when they may not have the capacity to do so.
This can create pressure to say ‘yes’ even when it is difficult or prevent them from taking the time they need to care for themselves.
It’s common to feel guilty or self-centred when focusing on your own needs. However, taking care of yourself is crucial. Identifying what you require to function at your best and taking the necessary time to fulfil those needs not only benefits you but also those who depend on you.
Self-care is your responsibility and it is not a selfish act.
Why is self-care important?
As the flight attendant says in the safety demonstration at the beginning of the flight, “If the situation arises, fit your own oxygen mask before assisting someone else to fit their mask.” If you don’t address your own needs first, then you won’t have the capacity to assist another person and their needs.
There are times when you might not have the time, resources, or knowledge to help someone. You may be feeling exhausted, stressed, or not in the right mental state. It takes a lot of energy to assist someone with what they need or are asking for.
During such times, it’s okay to advocate for yourself and set a clear boundary. This lets the person asking for help know that you are not available at the moment. However, in such situations, feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and disappointment may arise.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to take care of yourself and not push yourself beyond your limits. Saying no can be challenging, but it’s necessary to avoid burnout and maintain your well-being.
What happens if we don’t prioritise ourselves?
What are you doing if you are stretching yourself too thin? Prioritising others over your own family, your own self, your own work?
Are you depleting your ability to perform in a different area of your life? Or sacrificing one of your priorities for another person’s priorities?
Are we at our best when we are feeling guilty, embarrassed or pressured into doing something?
When we have helped, do we feel good if we are resenting the fact that we had to do it in the first place? And how do we behave when we feel resentment?
This is why it is so important to take time to replenish oneself. To recharge, to relax, to re-energise. If we have the capacity to help we can.
If we have capacity to help maybe not right at this moment, but maybe after we have had some self-care time then we will. Ultimately, we will be better for it. Also, our capacity to help may be improved and others will get the benefit of this best version of ourselves.
The Self-Care wheel (featured here) can perhaps inspire some new ways to re-energise and take care of oneself.
Taking the time to check in with yourself and put your needs first can have substantial health benefits. Make sure to set aside time each week and do your best to fulfill this.
You wouldn’t try to drive a car with no petrol, so why would you try to run yourself with no fuel in the tank?
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