What is Narcissism?
What is Pathological Narcissism?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or pathological narcissism is associated with ways of thinking and feeling about oneself and others that affect how an individual functions in many aspects of life.
NPD involves a pattern of behaving in a grandiose manner and feeling a strong need for admiration, while also lacking empathy. This pattern typically develops early in adulthood and affects a person's behaviour in many different settings.
There are several distinct types of personality disorders, of which NPD is one. According to the American Psychiatric Association, the prevalence of NPD ranges from 0% to 6.2% in the community, and it is more common among males, with 50% to 75% of those diagnosed being male.
What is the difference between being narcissistic and having a disorder?
Not all narcissism is pathological or maladaptive. However, some features of narcissism can become much more clinically relevant and severe.
Some people, including those who are highly successful, may exhibit qualities that could be classified as narcissistic. However, only when these qualities become rigid, harmful, and persistent, and result in a significant negative impact on one's daily life or emotional well-being, do they qualify as narcissistic personality disorder.
How does narcissistic personality disorder affect relationships?
Narcissism can often be recognised by how a person makes others feel, rather than how they feel about themselves.
When someone experiences emotional, psychological, financial, or physical abuse, it may be a sign of pathological or malignant narcissism.
People with narcissism may also feel isolated, withdrawn, and unable to enjoy socialising with others.
What kind of emotional problems do narcissistic people have?
A person with NPD tends to fluctuate between features that fit in with the pattern of grandiosity and the pattern of vulnerability.
Narcissistic grandiosity creates difficulty in feelings and relationships such as:
An absence of emotion
Not understanding emotions
Lack of empathy
Disconnect with others
Emotions like rage and aggression
On the other hand, the person experiencing narcissistic vulnerability may seem:
Have feelings shame
Have feelings of envy
Experience self-aggression and be very self-critical
Intolerant of criticism and defeat
Have a feeling of emptiness
How do I communicate with a narcissistic person?
When talking to a narcissistic person, it can be difficult as they believe they are perfect, or they need to be seen as perfect. As a result, they may view any request, complaint or need as a direct attack on their sense of self.
For a narcissist, everything revolves around their needs and desires. They may perceive expressing vulnerability, sharing with others, or compromising some of their desires to please someone else as a threat. As a result, a narcissist is likely to withdraw and isolate themselves out of fear of feeling vulnerable.
A narcissist often complains that they do not get the attention or admiration they deserve. They may also believe that they have not achieved enough success, fame, or wealth that is worthy of their talents. This constant sense of entitlement often results in the narcissist showing no interest or concern in anyone else's life, including their partner, children, and friends.
When speaking with someone who has NPD, you may feel like they are talking at you or over you. A person with NPD can come across as demeaning, demanding, distrustful, unremorseful, and snobbish while constantly seeking your praise and recognition.
Here are some tips for communicating with someone who may have NPD:
Educate yourself – the more you understand about the disorder, the easier it is to avoid some of the pitfalls and traps that you may get caught up in.
Create boundaries and standards – The more clearly you communicate your values and principles, the less likely you'll be manipulated.
Have realistic expectations – don’t expect a deep and meaningful conversation; don’t expect them to see your point of view; don’t expect their words to mirror their true intentions.
Have an out – when entering communication with a narcissist, be clear about the time frame available for the conversation from the beginning.
Stay calm – try not to react when you notice they are trying to pick a fight or gaslight you.
Choose your words wisely – frame your needs, complaints, and desires in careful, positive ways. Practice assertive and empathetic communication skills frequently, so that when communicating with someone with NPD, you are not caught off guard.
Stay well – seek supportive counselling from a mental health professional and from your social support network to take care of your own mental health. Ongoing communication with a person with NPD can be stressful.
What to do if you feel you may be a narcissist
Seek professional support from a mental health provider, such as Voxus Psychology, to have an assessment completed to get a diagnosis made by psychologists.
A diagnosis for NPD typically involves structured clinical interviews, self-report measures and informant reports.
Features of pathological narcissism appear in other disorders, so the clinician will compare the symptoms with symptoms from other disorders such as depression, OCD and ADHD.
Several therapeutic approaches are tailored for people with NPD. These include:
Some positive outcomes from a genuine commitment to therapy include:
Improved and more stable relationships
A healthy sense of self
Stable self-esteem and improved self-talk
Being less defensive, feeling more secure
Improved communication and social skills
Less dependency on unhealthy coping strategies, such as substance use
Healthy attitudes and mindsets that support real growth in career, interests, and personal life
In conclusion
It's important to be ready to make mistakes and learn from them, especially when it comes to understanding narcissism in yourself or someone else. Recovering from this condition is a journey that happens one step at a time and may require a lot of effort.
Remember, like many mental health and personality disorders, the individual has the power to change the behaviours and thoughts that cause the disorder. Someone may have narcissistic tendencies or a diagnosis of NPD, but that doesn't define who they are.
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